Am I Weird Or Is It Just Me?
For as long as humankind has been around there has been a question that has yet to be answered by all – “Am I weird or is it just me?”
Perhaps at some point of your life you have asked this of yourself.
Could it have been the time you were a confused pre-teen practicing your kissing technique on your pillow? Or was it the fact that you like to sing a few select songs outside of your genre of choice in the shower. Maybe it’s the personally indisputable fact that you enjoy a stroll around your home in your birthday suite because damn it, it feels good.
The fact is this – that which makes us weird is that which makes us ourselves.
A concept tied very closely to what I dub one’s “weirdness” is their authenticity.
Authenticity is a word that describes one’s relationship to themself and their allowance of how external factors influence them. In other words, authenticity is how much a person does something because they want to versus because the world tells them so.
Studies from various experts throughout history have sought to measure authenticity. Yet despite these differences, one outcome repeats itself. It is this…
In general, there is a correlation between one’s well-being and their authenticity to themselves.
The Good, The Bad, And The Weird
However, things begin to get a little more complicated when we step outside of our homes. Humans are social creatures, and as a result, we feel the pressure to adhere to the norms of society.
However, if those norms do not align with who we are, then things begin to get complicated. And folks, we all stray in one way or another.
The questions becomes…
If we seek to fit in, but being true to ourselves makes us happy, what’s the best course of action?
Because, let’s face it, if we fall too far outside the social norms we risk being isolated and alone. And for many people, it doesn’t matter how many laps around their house they can do in the nude, if they chronically feel alone, they won’t be happy.
The Step-By-Step Formula
I’ll share with you my step-by-step formula I have used to strike the perfect balance.
- Write out all the things that you value that you can think of. Example: Be kind to others, spend time with friends, spend time with family, work well with my coworkers.
- Number each of these values and order them top to bottom, with the most important values higher on the list. Refrain from making ties. Example: Be kind to others, spend time with family, spend time with friends, work well with my coworkers.
- On a separate list, write out conflicts you face often. Example: Coworkers engage in gossip and I have the urge to get sucked in.
- Weigh the realistic consequences of your conflicts versus the keeping in line with your values. Example: If I left during gossip, my coworkers would probably not sit with me at lunch, but I’d feel proud for not talking nasty behind someone’s back. If I stay and gossip, I will be with people during lunch, but I will feel uncomfortable and guilty.
- Decide what makes you happier and do it!
Like all things in life, being weird has its ups and downs. To completely abandon society’s rules sounds romantic. But, if life were depicted accurately in television, the “loose cannon cop” wouldn’t have a job.
There is no shame in sticking to your guns and helping out the rest of humanity in the process. Simply know your limits and stand your ground!